In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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