He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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