What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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