she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
