He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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