A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
