I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize