So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
