chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
