chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
