Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
why didn't you poke me back
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
