I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
