SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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