i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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