So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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