ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize