if you like me you must not know who I am
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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