I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
