why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
