I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
