I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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