Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
