You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
