happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Ketchup is God's man juice
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My penis needs a shock collar
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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