Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
