How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
