You made me cry and you don't even care
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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