The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
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I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
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Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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