Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
