I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
