the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize