my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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