Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
