Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
