So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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