i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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