Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I had to cum in my sink.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
