jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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