You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
