a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
