As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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