So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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