I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
