i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
