i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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