I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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