I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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