I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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