just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
