she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
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i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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