Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
