I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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