oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
