Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
