So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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