there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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