Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
