Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
smell my finger.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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