Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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