I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
