I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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