How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize