I just made out with a guy for $7.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
