i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Randomize
