she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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