Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
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New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
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I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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