I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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