Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
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