You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize