Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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