Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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