I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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